Things that dramatically improved my life
Ways you can also improve the quality of your life this winter
Issue # 40
Hello, my orange, yellow, and red leaves decomposing into the earth,
Lately, I’ve shied away from writing more personal essays in favor of light and breezy listicles. This week is no different. Due to the heartbreaking news from our neighbors to the South, I figured I’d take it easy this week.
One day I’ll return to writing the words my soul is retching to expel in the form of personal essays. But for now, enjoy this list from my Notes app in all its unhinged glory!
In other news, I am starting a new zine series, Heartside Zines, to publish some of my most loved recipes in a more permanent spot on the internet. Soup Season is the first of what I hope will be many zines of its kind. Let me know what you think!
Things that dramatically improved my life (in no particular order):
Vitamins in cute bottles
For the longest time, I shoved my many bottles of vitamins in the back of my bathroom drawer and completely forgot they existed. Everything changed when I put the pills into cute little containers I found at the thrift store and made room for them on a shelf my boyfriend mounted onto the wall of our bathroom. Now, my B12 supplement hates to see me coming.
Antidepressants
About a year ago, my mental health spiraled after living in a constant state of burnout for I don’t know how long. One day, instead of going to work, I went to a walk-in clinic and told them I wanted to die. Not that I wanted to kill myself. But just that I didn’t want to be alive anymore. He prescribed me an anti-depressant. After struggling for about a month with some side effects and getting the dosage right, my will to live returned. I don’t know if it was the meds or the fact I quit a job that was slowly killing me or that one of the side effects of starting the meds was nausea which led me to stop chronically consuming cannabis for the first time in years. It could be a combination of all these factors. All I know is that I no longer wanted to die. There is no need to tough it out or slog through a depressive state with no support. Support exists. In a tiny pill called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors.
Paying for some kind of gym membership
One thing I’ve learned about myself is that unless I pay to workout, I’m not going to workout. For a while, I paid for an unlimited membership to Oxygen Yoga, and that was proving to be very cost-effective until I started getting charged fees for missing lessons and my monthly bill shot up to $180. I’m currently enrolled in the leisure center down the street from me, which is much more affordable. Although, I do miss the motivating factor of having someone yell at me to hold a pose or do another rep.
Walks outside
The best free workout there is. I give Dozer a walk to our favorite park about a km away from our house every morning when I get home from work. And every week I try to take him for a longer jaunt in the forest. Whenever I feel like giving up on the world a walk in the forest is all I need to keep going.
Dozer
My whole life I wanted a dog. I wasn’t allowed to have one as a kid, so I walked my neighbor’s dogs to fill that void. I never got one as an adult because it was too large of a commitment for someone afraid to settle down anywhere. I started dating my boyfriend just three weeks after he adopted Dozer and this weird fleabag burrowed his way into my heart like a worm that would forever live inside me.
Lucas
What I thought would be a short fling has turned into a 3-year-long love affair. For the first time, I am privileged to know a love with someone I know holds my best interests in mind. Ladies (and men), get yourself an emotionally intelligent partner who accepts you and loves you even when you are a chaotic goblin.
A house
After 10 years of living nomadically and even living in my car for a couple of years, I finally succumbed to paying for someone else’s mortgage so I could have a roof over my head and a place to store my stuff, and let me tell you, it slaps. Paying for someone else’s mortgage sucks – owning investment properties in a housing shortage is unethical and exacerbates wealth inequality – but not having to shit in the woods or worry about where I can park my car without being told to leave halfway through the night is pretty great.
A working car
Not being able to start your car before you need to get to your 9-5 office job that could easily be done from home is a different kind of pain. Having a car that consistently starts and runs without a hitch every time I turn my key is magic and I’ll never take it for granted.
A job that pays me a decent salary with benefits
It was appalling that I spent tens of thousands of dollars on a degree, only to accept a job out of university that had no benefits and paid me less than the job I worked as a student. My current job is a seven-minute bike ride from my house, unionized, with great pay, full benefits, and maybe the easiest, most stress-free shifts I’ve ever had. The graveyard hours are far from ideal, but the job itself is a godsend. I wish I could’ve told my younger self that even if the job sounds cool and like a great opportunity, if you’re not getting paid a fair wage, resentment will build and you’ll begin to hate your life.
Short vacations on long weekends
It is hard, if not impossible, for me to have a relaxing weekend at home. All my free time at home is spent cleaning, meal-prepping, running errands, tending to the garden, or doing one of the other million little chores I’ve somehow decided are important. The only way to shut my brain is if I drive somewhere else. That could mean driving down Chilliwack Lake Road and finding a free campsite by the river for the night, taking a ferry to a little Gulf Island to explore, or driving six hours North to see some cool waterfalls.
Big vacations and international travel
What has been missing from my life for the past five years is soon returning. I’m spending the first four months of 2025 in India to attend yoga teacher training at two schools, one in the North and one in the South. I’ve decided that from now on, as soon as I come home from one trip, I’m buying a plane ticket for my next trip because nothing makes life worth living more than if you’ve got a plane ticket booked and a trip to look forward to.
Throwing parties
Another great thing about having a house is getting to throw parties. I love an excuse to cook way more food than necessary and cram our tiny apartment full of bodies in an attempt to mesh friend groups.
Putting away my phone
It is appalling how much time I spend mindlessly scrolling through Instagram or trying to capture a moment through a phone screen that can only truly be appreciated through my eyes. Sometimes I want to throw my phone into a river and become inaccessible to all. Other times I want to dedicate my life to making Reels so I can quit my job. For now, I think I will just keep uninstalling and reinstalling Instagram and putting my phone in the other room while I sleep.
Knowing that not everything will get done
Every time I cross an item off my to-do list, three more items get added. Yes, actually doing the items on the to-do list is important, but what’s more important is recognizing that the to-do list will never get done. Productivity is a trap.
Following my dreams by taking baby steps forward
Many of my dreams seem insurmountable, and on days I want to crawl onto the forest floor and let myself be consumed by moss, I take one tiny step forward in any direction. By putting the minimum amount into my RRSP, by planting bulbs in the garden that will bloom in the Spring, or by writing one newsletter that will be read by 50 people (thanks for being here). You do not get to eat the fruit the day you plant the seed, so keep planting seeds and the harvest will come.
I am 90% done winterizing my garden and putting everything away until Spring.
Here is the list of perennials that are currently on my roster and tucked away under a thick layer of straw I bought at the farm supply store:
Lily of the Valley
Douglas Aster (4)
Motherwort
Geranium (3)
Salvia (2)
Sword ferns (4)
Nettle (3)
Hosta (4)
Raspberry
Snowberry
Cedar (13)
Hen and Chicks (2)
Sea Thrift
Vine Maple (1 big, 1 little)
Red Elderberry
Nootka Rose
Evergreen Huckleberry
Borage
Mint leaf bee balm
Mock orange
Goat’s beard
Calendula
Douglas Fir (1 big, 1 medium, 1 tiny)
Lavender
Yarrow (3)
Thyme
Sage (2)
Mint (2)
Rosemary
Oregano
About eight more pots of perennials I was gifted but don’t know what they are
Stay tuned til next Spring to see what survived the winter!
The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah. This book was so sad and stressful that I had to take frequent breaks to get through it. I normally steer clear of books like these. I listen to audiobooks to distract myself from my own dark thoughts, not to lead me into a river of nightmares, but this book was honestly too good to stop listening to. I was fully invested in the protagonist and prayed that she got the ending she deserved. If you want your heart wrenched open and then sewed back together, read this book.
Twilight and New Moon. After some friends told me they spent their Fall re-watching the Twilight series, I had to jump on that wagon. I haven’t watched Twilight since high school, and I don’t think I’ve ever watched the other movies in the series. I’m only two movies deep out of the six-movie saga, but so far I am loving the cringy content that is every teenage girl’s wet dream.
I got another stack of books from the Rotary Book Sale last week! I spent two leisurely hours sifting through boxes and came out with a few gems to cram on my already bursting bookshelves.
This week has felt like a whirlwind of cleaning, meal prepping, gardening, and running errands. When it feels like my whole world is just stacks of dirty dishes, piles of dirty laundry, and everlasting muddy floors and carpets, I like to remind myself that all those things mean I have delicious homemade food to enjoy, clean clothes to wear, and a garden right outside my back door that my dog loves to roam around in. We cannot have one without the other.
Winter Salad
I cleaned out my fridge and pantry to make this beautifully delicious and hearty winter salad that last lasted me all week. As always, the ingredients and quantity in this recipe are highly adaptable. This is just what I had in my fridge, feel free to use whatever you have in yours.
Rinse ¾ cups wild rice and add to pot with 1.5 cups water. Bring to a boil, then lower to a simmer until all the water is absorbed. Once cooked, spread the rice onto a large plate to cool faster.
Preheat oven to 415.
Peel, cube, and coat 3 large beets in olive oil, salt, and pepper. Roast for 30 minutes, flipping halfway through.
Peel, cube, and coat 1 butternut squash in olive oil, salt, pepper, and a sprinkle of cinnamon. Roast for 30 minutes, flipping halfway through.
Halve a small bag of brussel sprouts, coat in olive oil, salt, pepper, a hearty sprinkling of brown sugar, and a glug of maple syrup. Roast for 30 minutes, flipping halfway through.
Heat a cast iron skillet on your stovetop and lightly toast a large handful of pecans. Once toasted, chop them up.
Let all your cooked ingredients cool before adding them to the salad.
Wash and chop 1 head of kale and 1 head of Swiss chard. Add to bowl with a glug of olive oil and a sprinkle of salt and pepper. Massage for a minute or two.
To the bowl of greens, add:
½ a red onion, thinly sliced
Some (vegan) feta cheese, crumbled
The (cooled) roasted veggies
The (cooled) toasted pecans
The (cooled) cooked wild rice
Toss everything well.
For the dressing:
Mix well: 1 small container of hummus, 1 tbsp each: apple cider vinegar, lemon juice, maple syrup, dijon mustard, 1 tsp garlic powder, and a sprinkling of salt and pepper.
When ready to serve, add a spoonful of dressing to a bowl of salad and toss again.
**Only mix the dressing into the salad immediately before serving.
Thanks for reading What Am I Doing With My Life
If we haven’t had the pleasure of meeting - I’m Andrea Sadowski, a writer, photographer, and silly little guy. If you enjoyed this post, here are a few ways you can connect with me:
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I am honored to have written this newsletter and experienced all the joys within these words on S’ólh Téméxw, the traditional, ancestral, and unceded territory of the Stō:lo Coast Salish peoples.